How can you change your life for the better? It can be challenging to know how to identify the start. In this post, I dive into thoughts around creating and changing habits. Looking at patterns in correlation to achieving goals and how self-awareness and media play a role in the bigger picture.
These are the first things that come to mind when thinking on this subject:
(& a good enough reason to keep going when growing pains happen, lol)
Discipline is the age-old one-word answer for how you're supposed to live your life. It's a 3-syllable word that seemingly protrudes the solution to all your problems. But what is it really? Simplified?
If I had to describe what discipline is simplified, I'd say it's pushing your thoughts through moments of difficulty to achieve what you want most. Fair right? Partially, it's remembering what achieving the goal means to you when facing difficulty in order to help create forward-moving motion.
There are ways to succeed at discipline through spiritual practices, fasting (which is very powerful), prayer, and affirming. Ultimately, these activities reveal the power of mind over matter.
5 ways I have personally strengthened the skill of discipline:
Taking baby steps & not biting off more than I can chew
Prayer, specifically asking for the power within me to be revealed
Practicing positive self-talk
Moving slower through my decisions (as to really think about what I am doing & why or, more importantly, sometimes, why not)
Creating lists. This thing (habit, person, place, activity) has negatively affected me; I want to change this because it does not align with my evolved self-version because…
Instant gratification has worsened due to demands for convenience, technology, the push for obsessive result-driven mindsets, online shopping (the rise of Amazon), and lack of moral teachings.
I've personally experienced issues with expecting instant gratification. With my everyday life in business being so results-driven, it's become what I expect of everything, even from myself, people, places, and things! This is directly correlated to issues staying disciplined. In the past, I didn't understand the reward of consistency.
This need for immediate satisfaction can hinder our ability to develop discipline, as we become accustomed to getting what we want immediately. When we don't get our way, we become impatient and restless, making it challenging to stick with anything for very long (relationships included). The ability to delay gratification is an important life skill, but it HAS to be learned and practiced.
Studies literally show that those who can control their impulses and wait for what they want tend to be more successful in life, both personally and professionally. i.e., talk to your therapist about impulse control and thank me later (:
What even are the "proper habits"? Lifestyles are different, and not everyone desires the same things. Therefore, for some, certain habits are more desirable than usual working out, getting up early, or drinking a gallon of water a day. It's whatever the lifestyle is that you envision for yourself. Some people I noticed are chasing habits they don't actually genuinely desire and that don't align with their desired lifestyle. The point of consistency in creating habits is to change where you are to get where you're trying to go.
However… here are 10 habits I think everyone should strive for :
Read Books… (Headway is a GREAT way to start)
Try Right Brain Activities
Spend Time with Friends
Practice Good Hygiene & Self-Care
Find Something Funny
Simplify Your To-Do List
Analyze Your Week Each Sunday
There is a difference between self-awareness and self-evaluation. Self-awareness is an ongoing journey of getting to know yourself - your thoughts, feelings, triggers, and patterns.
Self-evaluation is being intentional about the actual reflecting period while being honest and pinpointing changes that you'd like to make for a more positive life experience. Such as taking the time to understand what little steps it will take to pursue the path of consistency. Missing this point opens the door to overextending unintentionally.
Do you have a negative inner dialogue keeping you from taking risks? Once you've identified your areas of improvement, you can start working on making changes.
I believe a certain level of self-awareness can lead to less subconscious manipulation by media. However, it can still affect our mental state by creating or killing creativity and anxiety.
If you feel anxious after consuming certain types of content, limit your exposure to it.
Fill your time on social media with positive content that inspires, makes you think, and makes you feel good. I have a separate IG page that only follows feel-good, educational, and personal interest-related pages. When you try to consume more positive content, you'll be surprised at how much it can improve your mood.
Start by evaluating your daily routine and taking note of anything holding you back or making you feel a type of way.
Sometimes it's not realistic to purge your entire life, lol. I've seen and heard that people try. There's a healthy balance to gradually making significant changes. Begin taking smaller steps to create a new environment for yourself. Find random coffee shops (my favorite), find networking events to go to solo (my 2nd favorite), and identify parts of yourself that need to change in order to attract different people and opportunities(most overlooked).
If the current environment is not in alignment with your future plans, it's time to make a change. If you feel like you can't make a change, why can't you? Begin to remove obstacles; small changes make a big deal in this area!
Surrounding yourself with people who support you, eliminating toxicity from your daily interactions, and setting up your space to promote productivity and creativity can be completely transformative from the outside in!
It takes time to change your habits, but it is certainly doable with a little effort and awareness. You can make substantial progress towards your objectives by taking things one step at a time. Keep in mind that you don't have to go it alone!
Do I really want this?
Do I believe I can figure it out?
Do I have the discipline required?
Am I willing to sacrifice?
Am I willing to invest in my growth?
Am I willing to become someone worthy of money?
Am I willing to leave the people holding me back behind?
What is my gift?
Am I coachable?
Am I willing to fail over and over again until I make it?
If this will take me 30 years, would I still do it?
How can I increase my speed of progress?
How do I know I got there?
Shameless Plug! (Bonus)
My favorite part of my posts! A couple things I'd like to share:
#1 - The Headway App | This is the app I use to stay on top of my daily reading goals. It has a selection of the most popular books in short form. So you get all the value in 15min or less! It has helped keep me motivated and educated. I'm 13 books in, and here are my top recommendations to start with:
Millionaire Success Habits by Dean Graziosi
The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by John C. Maxwell
Not Nice by Aziz Gazipura
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do by Amy Morin
Calm The Fuck Down by Sarah Knight
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
The Emotion Code by Dr. Bradley Nelson
Let me know what you guys think!
#2 - If you're looking for a business community of resources and networking events, check out joining the Dallas Black Chamber of Commerce. Memberships are only $150/yr, and you get exclusive access and special member pricing discounts.
#3 Speaking of the DBCC, in partnership with Dream Con's Millennial Mixer Series, we're hosting a very special happy hour Friday, Sep 16th, from 6-9PM. I'd love to see you there!
#4 - I just launched the "shop" tab on my site! It highlights all of my fave quick and easy bathroom decor from Amazon. You'll thank me later!
Until next time, signing off!